Maybe it was John Travolta’s dog

I received this with a dog that was surrendered yesterday.


No lie…that’s not a word

“My dog was supposably brought to yall”
“You think I’m lyin?”

Employment opportunity eluded

A woman came into the shelter and said:
“I gotta get community service hours”
We don’t have volunteers here. Have you tried animal services?
“Too far to drive and too much work”
I see, well…
“I aint going no where else it’s too far”
I’m sorry we can’t help you.
“Lemme go look at your dogs”
They’re in the adoption building. You just go out these doors…
“I aint walking that far. Just let me cut through here”
That’s not allowed. You’ll have to go around.
“Got any free dogs?”
No maam. There is an adoption fee for each dog.
“Wellll, crap….Ya’ll hiring?”

Moron A Trois

“I gotta bring in some puppies. I got too many. I practically got a monastery”
You mean a menagerie?
“Uh, noooo. A monastery. You know….lots of animals? Yeeesh. Everybody knows a menagerie is one of them sex things with 3 people”

Caution: owner bites

“Ya’ll take animals right?”
Yes, sir…we do. What do you have?
“The old lady that lives next door has a cat she can’t keep”
Is she in good health?
“The lady or the cat?”
The cat
“Well, they’s both pretty jacked up and meaner than a snake but at least the cat aint never bit nobody”

Beep beep ya’ll

“There’s these shepherd lookin dogs keeps showin up on my property. ya’ll need to come git em”
Maam, we don’t pick up animals. You’d have to bring them to us.
“They aint friendly. they’s 3 or 4 of em”
It sounds like coyotes….not domestic dogs.
“Coyotes? like the cartoon? that caint be right. they’s only in the desert”
There have been reports of coyotes here in town.
“I be damned. Think maybe I might see one of them there roadrunners too?”

You’re killing me

A couple bring in a stray dog this morning:
“You gonna kill it?”
“Cause I’m keepin it if you’re killin it”
We’re not going to ‘kill it’
“They all say that. You’re gonna kill it aren’t you?”
No. We’re going to try to find his owner and if we can’t find his owner we’ll find him a new home.
“Or you’ll just kill him”
Sir, the only life in danger right now is yours.